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Hello team.
It’s hard to really overstate how much of my parental life has played out in pubs and restaurants. I have introduced my inexpertly cradled firstborn to friends around a pint-swarmed Brockley bar table. I have braved the cavernous overload of BrewDog Waterloo so a six-year-old could endlessly hurl themselves down that swirly metal slide. I have – and I am not proud of this one – had to hurriedly set up a potty beneath the table in a sourdough pizza cafe. In other words, like many other harangued millennial parents, I have tried to precariously balance the social appetites of my previous life with the adult responsibilities of my new one.
The upshot of this is that the recently revived debate around whether children should be allowed in London’s pubs has made me feel, well, if not personally attacked, then at least indirectly implicated. We should recap. The week before last, The Kenton – a cult Hackney watering hole, in the midst of transitioning from a family gastropub into more of a wet-led establishment – made national headlines after deciding to expand a 5pm curfew on under-18s into a total ban on kids at all times. “It gives me no joy to ban anyone,” said Kenton landlord Egil Johansen, in one of the many follow-up interviews he has given about the weekend hordes of marauding, unsupervised kids that proved to be the last straw. “But it’s just not safe: parents don’t control their children and our other customers were beginning to go elsewhere. I had no choice.” Cue drawn battle lines, as other publicans, parents and industry figures weighed in to either applaud or upbraid Johansen and his team for their decision.
So where do I stand on it? Truthfully, my first thought is that the “debate” here is hardly a debate at all. Almost every pub or restaurant in the city has some form of policy related to the admittance of children – whether it is an explicit ban after a certain time, a compromise that corrals them into certain areas, or an implicit deterrent in the form of menu options and projected vibe. It is, more than ever, the prerogative of every hospitality business to implement rules related to everything from under-18s and laptop use to pets and (in the case of Jeremy King) ring light-wielding content creators.
Moreover, the group that The Kenton really seems to be targeting (and it should be noted that dogs have also been banned after 6pm on Fridays and Saturdays) is people who have a few drinks, forget about their rampaging dependents, and then expect others in a busy, hazard-ridden space to act as unwilling volunteer workers in the world’s least relaxing crèche.
Even so, the image that The Kenton ban and ensuing discourse has projected – of London’s modern parents as entitled, irresponsible horrors, too blitzed on IPA and bottles of chicken wine to control their monstrous little Ivos, Harrisons and Jonis – feels neither recognisable nor fair. Yes, we have all encountered those parents who have an almost heroic lack of awareness when it comes to the behaviour or even the literal whereabouts of their progeny in a public space. But, honestly, show me a London parent or primary caregiver and I will show you someone with a sharply developed sense of their own inadvertent obnoxiousness. When I picture friends or acquaintances popping into restaurants or pubs with their kids, I picture a million muttered apologies to neighbouring patrons. I picture mums scrupulously picking up crumpled WaterWipes and pizza detritus. I picture, people who appreciate the novel treat of socialising with other adults, and so move through the spaces that encourage that opportunity with a bit of excited appreciation.
Thankfully, London has never been better stocked with independent venues that cater to families and actively try to foster this feeling. This is perhaps why the fallout that has followed The Kenton’s move feels like it has no real losers. Customers and publicans who want adult-only spaces have a rallying point and proof of concept. Parents that could benefit from being a little less hands-off with their offspring in a sunny beer garden have a gentle reminder to think about their conduct. And pubs that do happily welcome children before the evening (including The Kenton’s neighbours like The People’s Park Tavern and The Lauriston) have a serious boost in interest and appreciation.
In that spirit, and in time for the second week of the Easter holidays, here are a few of my favourite pubs and restaurants for dining with children.
The Perry Hill
Almost every corner of London will have a sprawling, multifaceted mothership of a family pub with its own outdoor playground. But this locally adored mega-boozer, set beside a busy road near Catford, has a specialness that is absolutely worth travelling for. The food is decent. The beer, shuffleboard table and lively events programme (including a genuinely amazing dog show) is even better. And the amiably scrappy outdoor play area – encompassing a half-sunken boat, repurposed tyres and climbing trees – is rightly the stuff of local parental legend.
Yi-Ban
Out beyond the gleaming, faintly uncanny utopia of Canary Wharf and Silvertown, this cult dim sum palace beside a riverside water sports centre has a particular appeal for large, multigenerational groups. A major aspect of this is the toddler-pleasing, observation deck view: a wide, glazed expanse that takes in the Thames and aircraft coming into land at London City Airport. But the plane-spotting is just an accompaniment to the menu, a skilfully cooked, enjoyably expansive gallop through a pacifying Cantonese repertoire of slippery cheung fun, pudding-sweet cloud-like puffs of spicy pork bun, and adorable little steamed dumpling pigs.
Toconoco
The fact this kid-friendly Haggerston cafe – first opened in 2014 – is still going strong is the kind of thing to single-handedly restore your faith in London’s ability to sustain odd, uniquely charming food businesses. Set beside the Regents Canal in the base of an unpromising new-build, it balances a soothing, pine-accented design aesthetic with a simple, affordable menu of Japanese soul food dishes and a tasteful play area (Toconoco is a made-up term meaning “kids on the floor”).
Ciao Bella
This Bloomsbury turbo-trattoria deals in the sort of unreconstructed, timeless brilliance that it is no longer especially original to recommend. All the same, Ciao Bella’s primacy as a decidedly adult space to put away Barolo and people watch from the street terrace, underrates how well-suited it is to families. This is down to the typically Italian, throwback hospitality – all hulking calzones, friendly clatter and obligingly straightforward pastas available in half sizes – and the opportunities opened up by its location. Chase it with a trip to Coram’s Fields or, even better, Novelty Automation: a satirical coin-operated arcade/art gallery that’s one of the city’s genuine treasures.
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